hours in the truck to get from Maun to our first stop, at the Moremi Reserve. On board is me, Geoff, the three Canadians (Helen, her husband Mike and his brother-cousin, Greg), our guide Dennis, the cook...uhm, 'cook', the camp-hand we call 'Can-do' and the cook's helper, who's name also escapes me now. Rose? Yes, your math is correct. 5 tourists and 4 staff members. While cracking our heads on the metal roof as we drive, the heavy canvas roof pulls off and we have to stop to fix it, twice. We briefly stop for water, and Mike, the lawyer from Canada gets out of the truck to gawk at the home of a villager, who's home is made from, in part, milk cartons. He gets right up to it and takes a picture of his camera phone. I comment on how awful it is, and his wife tries to explain to him (futilely) why it's inappropriate. This was the first of many rude encounters with Mike. When we run out of tar roads, we have to stop several times when we think the trailer may have flown off in a sand pit, and before we even get deep into the reserve we see several elephants. Eventually we make it to out site, which is just a clearing area within the reserve. These are not campsites with ANY facilities. None.
There's no time for an evening safari, so we just chill out, set up our tents and sit by the fire. I explore a little, as 
there's a huge (over 7 feet) termite mound right in our site with lots or nooks (and a mantis looking for stragglers), and trees that have been scraped by elephants. There are no barriers in the parks against animals at all, so we're told to stay in camp. A truck of rangers goes by that gets stuck (water levels are really high after the rains) and that's amusing for a bit. They have to get help and leave the truck for a day, as their attempts didn't work, and you cannot be on the roads after 6:30 lest you get shot by the military that patrol the parks after that time. The military shoot poaching suspects on sight (for real) so the curfews are taken very seriously.
It gets late, and I'm old, so I go to bed (tent) first. Our tent is on the outskirts of camp, and as I near it, we hear the Vervet Monkeys give their alarm calls. That means there is something close by that they don't like- like lions. I have a moment of terror as I stare into the grasses, then quickly retreat into my tent in a blur of adrenaline. You know, cause my shitty little tent would stop even a Vervet Monkey.
Day 1(wakeup time is 6am) and the others really get into watching birds, and I hadn't even really considered them before this safari, to be honest. There's one that steals hatch-lings from other birds and stakes them onto Acacias to attract ants. Hos ja. I think I found my 2nd spirit animal (river crab is #1). Elephants and Impalas essentially become locusts, as they're everywhere. Though they're great to see each time, they're definitely the most common thing we saw. In areas with perennial marshes, we hear frogs chirping, and I'm more interested in them than the lions, frankly.
Day 2, I find a huge walking stick (Phasmidae) in our tent, and am enthralled with it. I also find some great grasshoppers, over by the marshes, where I'm not supposed to go. I went out there in my gum-boots and before long, I get called back to camp by Dennis, as he's fearful I'll get killed by hippos. I didn't catch a frog, but I did get this nice picture.
From the truck, I saw a pile of elephant poop with a mushroom growing right out of it. I ask Dennis if he can stop, and let me get out (which isn't allowed) to get a picture. I'm a good camper, so he lets me. Later Geoff had a spaz attack when we saw some hippos and yes, we drove over that "bridge". At the site there was a gorgeous, camouflaged roach.
Then we drove farther north to a private site and we stopped at a village for water. I walk around and find several of the same species of mantids that hold their forearms in a strange manner. Our cook buys some flour and sugar, then 
walks off to find some meat. We drive a bit and find her talking to some men cleaning meat under a tree. She emerges carrying a long row of ribs. Later, as I'm helping her mash it off the bone (after being cooked) and she's given me some to try, she tells me it's Zebra. "Game-Meat" here means anything. At our campsite, while we were unloading the trailer, we realized there was an elephant right by us. You can see in the background. Later, he fucking snuck up on us! You'd never know how quiet they are until you turn around and see one staring at you. The pseudo biologists (Geoff and Helen) refer to him as a "her," and I say, "him," and they argue with me. The massage therapist and the physicist argue with ME over what sex the elephant is. I say it's a male, and they both assertively say it's a female. I immediately, and abrasively point out that it must then, have five legs and point to the massive, ground reaching erection. Assholes. The whole back-seat biologist thing got to be really irritating around this time. Oh, that's elephant poop- with the urine around it, so you know it was from a female (we learned that).
When we headed out for the safari, we saw a pair of sibling lions (Dennis believed) hanging out, HUGE eagles, water buffalo, zebra, great "finger" grasses and lots and lots of spider casings. That night, we took our night safari, and startled an elephant with our lights.....I don't recommend that. It was cold and we really didn't see much.
The 3rd stop was at Chobe, but in the southern regions. We get stuck in the sand, and while they sort it out, my assistant brings forth unto me several insects he's learning to spot (he doesn't yet know what he's found, only that he's found something I'd like). First, it's a great, stocky mantis, then a termite and finally a predacious heteropteran. We pass a tree covered in white waxy bumps, and Dennis stops so I can get some (we're not allowed out of the trucks, usually). I'm attacked by ants while I get sticks, and recognize that this has to be a heteropteran, but what kind? Inside the white pods there's a red center that squishes blood-- red fluid, anyway. I found it later, it's a wax scale. Very cool.
Here is where we saw our first Leopard- which are a rare thing to see, as they're really secretive (or so we thought). We stopped to stretch our legs in a huge clearing area where we were safe, and Geoff spotted a toad. Knee be damned, I ran to catch it. Holding him was in my top 5 things that happened. There were bones of an elephant all over, too. We saw a jackal sitting on elephant poop to stay warm, that's how cold it was.
Back at the campsite on our afternoon "siesta," I went to the river to lay down while the others insisted on chatting 
about irrelevant, boring, taxing topics. By the edge, there were open patches of sand, where the elephants stood to drink. We were camped on a common watering route, so elephant routinely came here. I thought this would be, therefore and excellent place to nap. I woke up, and saw across the river impala had meandered in, and were quiekly feeding. It was one of the best moments of the trip, by far. Napping more, then heard people calling my name. Geoff comes finds me and says "oh, there you are" and hollars back that he's found me. I remind him that I had told him specifically where I was going, and reminded him that he never listens to me. Moments later, Dennis came under the guise of wanting to chat, but he really wanted me to move, as the crocodiles would get me. I move away from the river (where I took that picture), but a bit later he asked me to come back to camp, saying I'd be trampled by elephants.
On our afternoon safari, the rest of the group climbed up a rock to see some old rock paintings while I waited below, flipping over all the stones that littered the ground. It was different here, the earth was dirt vs. sand, so it was productive. I found more darkling beetles (one that loved my peanut butter mealbar), ants, a heteropteran... Later I also nabbed a nice egg case. Not sure what's in it, but there were no emergence holes.
We saw lots of giraffes, which are adorable when they have their mouths full. At the same watering hole as in the novelty picture, we saw a male Wilderbeest; Dennis said he was claiming his territory by just sitting there, I think he was trying to figure out what made the strange long-toed footprints at his watering hole. There were these amazingly vibrantly colored birds that we had to stop for EVERY SINGLE TIME WE SAW ONE. Mike needed a picture of it perched, in flight, just about to take flight, thinking about taking flight.... Termites use wood as their homes, new work on a mound that had been damaged. Poop.
As always, there were termites everywhere. We saw mid-sized mounds, and even a couple that had been recently damaged (as below), and that had areas in which I could see new building was taking place (grainy bits that hadn't weathered, yet). They're so resourceful, as they build mounds, but also use logs/trees, totally, or in part, too. Here's where I started taking poop pictures- can you guess what that is? Zebra.
That evening, we spotted our 2nd Leopard, horror. Awe turned to horror, when it successully stalked and killed a young impala. If you click on the picture and enlarge it, you can see the leopard in the grass. Later, when the impalas all passed, he/she got even closer and even we couldn't see him in the grass, even though he was literally less than 5 feet from them, as they again passed. It was like a bolt- BAM, he pounced and nailed one. It was unpleasant and shocking, to say the least. Because the leopard didn't strike so many times, I thought he was just young and practicing- plus, he had an audience. Turns out they're THAT comfortable with spectators. Mike wanted to get on the roof to get a picture of the kill. Dennis, having respect for what was happening, didn't let him. I like Dennis.
Geoff finds a truly terrifying Ground beetle (anyone knowing anything about ground beetles knows why this is funny) in our tent, more beetles and a stinkbug. After this, we head off to Northern Chobe.
