Man. I do not look cute in my Judo gi

Why didn't someone tell me I look like a potato in my gi? Here I'm helping a new guy (new to Judo, not martial arts) with learning a hold, and am bridging for my life. Did I get away? Natuurlik.

Here we're doing some Nage-waza (grappling) practice and this black belt (his name, as w/many people in Judo, is a mystery) has taught me a lot. Taught me to not trust him, as he chats to me to distract me or make me laugh while we're working. These are really great people at the club- I can't stress that enough.

The below picture on the right isn't just a terrible picture of me, it's the tail-end (get it?) of me doing a backwards roll while my arm is in an arm-bar (which is cool).

Below is at the beginning of class. It was a rare "light" day in which we didn't start things off with 50 minutes of heart thumping cardio. The club meets off campus at a gym facility off-campus, and while the University recognizes the Maties (us students) attend, it's mostly people from the community in the class (this is good). As you can see, the gym didn't used to be a gym. This building used to be a ballroom or something. After practice, which is twice a week, we end the hour and half practice by putting the mat away, heavy square by heavy square. Another part of life here, multi-function. It's not practical to have space reserved for just one club. The below right picture is of me with a fellow in a hold (I own his arms with my arm & a leg) and he was trying to get out of it by rolling me to my left. Unfortunately that just meant he ended up on his own neck, thus ending the waza with him choking himself.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend and I biked up to Jonkershoek. Readers may recall my having biked this before- a 7km trip largely up-hill. I made much better time this go around, partly due to my new adult sized bike. Once we got there we then entered JH and biked that 5km rock/sand jeep trail.

It was the most awful bike ride of my life-- until my gear situation got sorted out; then it was just really challenging. At the farthest end of the reserve we stopped and walked up a river a bit until we found a nice spot to swim (well, submerge) and make coffee. I'm posting a picture of Robert here to show the background. See, my picture (below) that had the background also has a wet shirt hanging in the frame. There were crabs in the river- lots, it turned out, all gunning for butt-cheeks and coffee grinds. Luckily, I'm rarely without a net these days and was able to catch and bother one. I like this guy, I think he's my spirit animal.

Once done, we biked the 5km back to the park reserve entrance then the 7km home. Next on the list is to do that all again on my own, and to then do some hiking to the waterfalls (see below).

Now, just this past weekend, I went back to JH and this time, hike ALL the way to the top.

I'm told it's the "real" 2nd waterfall, not the one casually referred to as the 2nd waterfall. To reach it, you have to climb up rock walls, with only your toe in a nook, or grabbing onto a tree and swinging from surface to surface.

In pictures like this, it's not the Fg=Gm1m2/r^2 that worries me, it's the p=mv. I can't wait to do it again, but it was definitely the scariest hike I've done so far.

When you finally get to the top, you're in a large, shallow body of water littered with small to large boulders and are still surrounded by immense rock walls, and actually, there's no waterfall. In another month or so when winter starts, so too will the rain, and it'll be a proper waterfall that I'm told will knock you on your ass as it freezes you solid. The water itself, I was pleased to find, is filled with varying species of tadpoles/frogs. They're fast though, and there are lots of places to hide. I did persevere.

Sadly, we were only able to spend about 10 minutes there, as the park gates closed shortly and we still had to hike all the way back. We ended up getting back to the gate at about 18:30, and had to wait for someone to drive up from town to let us out. Oops.

This below picture is just great, as it actually shows a bit, the perspective of the situation here in a way pictures usually don't.

This is a video upon arrival at the top. If you have a laptop, flip it -90 degrees. If you have a desktop, turn your head 90 degrees.

I also spent an afternoon in Newlands Forest, near Cape Town. It's a pop-up forest, and forests are very rare in this part of Africa, so it was great to see. Lots of fungi/moss and tall overhanging trees. Our tourguide was- no joke- a 90 something year old 40-year volunteer named "Pixie Littlewort." Our professor remarked, upon her forgetting a species name, that she had likely forgotten more than we'd ever learn. The forest exists in this fynbos region due to boulders that had settled here ages ago. They cause such a disturbance to the waterflow in the area, that the soil/water compositions are drastically different, and a forests can be supported. There was actual shade and moist soil- very neat to see, coming from Minnesota.

Also, I went to a wetland that for some reason, had a tame porcupine that stole my heart. They have no underlayer of fur, so it's just bare wrinkly skin and quills. He loved to be scratched all over. Thank you childhood being around them at zoos, so I knew how to handle him. No pictures though, as I had no idea he'd be there.

Last week I rented a car and took a mini road trip to Worcester (pronounced more like "Vooster") to stay a night with a

friend. Check out my room- though I should have taken it before I took stuff out of my bag. The whole house was very "African" in that everywhere you turned there was a dog running around and an open door leading to a beautiful sitting area. I FINALLY got some cuddly cat time- Tinkerbell, their tail-less cat slept on my lap for a long time. I needed that badly. Plus, there was a tree in the back yard swarming with insects (I've not yet reached my 150 for entomology). Yes, that's a mosquito net, and God no, it's not just for decoration. No screens on windows here in SA, just bars.

Funny thing about driving around. You go through tunnels that seem to be miles long as you go through mountains, and when you see hitch hikers up ahead, they often turn out to be baboons.

Anyway. We then did some beach camping-- yes, the beach is lined with barbed wire fence, as TIA then went to Crystal Pools again. I didn't take that last picture of dried seaweed, but hell, it was on my camera, so I can post it.

While swimming in the chilly water, I was not only almost sucked out to sea on several occasions, but also stung by a jellyfish. Not sure what kind, but now, 3 weeks later, I still have markings on my finger (yes, it hurt).

I've done several hikes with make-shift steps, but I'll NEVER like them.

I've got to start doing these more regularly again- these are monster blogs. Sorry, folks.

No, I'm not dead.

Ok, lots of things to cover, so I'm not going to be too frilly. I've been pretty busy the last few weeks, and haven't had the luxury of sitting around Saturday evenings/Sundays (which is the cheap internet time, thus the time to upload pictures).

I have re-climbed Stellenbosch Mountain. I set out at 06:50 and got home at 13:45. I didn't check the weather, but it was 39.8 Celsius (you can look that up) while I was up there. I reached several peaks, and just kept going up-up-up, from tall rock to tall rock trying to find shade (which I had to share with spiders and Dassies). To the left, you can see the view after you've already climbed a series of make-shift stairs and walked up a dirt path a little ways. You can see that winding path up the mountain you "walk" to reach the FIRST summit (by far the most difficult part of the hike).

At the top of the path you reach a row of vertical rocks you have to climb up. At that point I did think about how (again) I have the dumbest ideas and SMS'd Elizabeth (a friend) to tell her where I was and that I'd check in at a specific time).

Here are some pictures of the vertical rocks I was faced with. You just look for a spot that looks do-able and haul your ass up. It's pretty much as simple as that. Once you reach the vertical s, it really does get easier. While I'm not dismissive about the horror stories I've heard about people being attacked (for $ or virtue) up there/or the possibility of slipping on all that loose sand/gravel, I can't help it (sorry Mom). Also, a picture of a few mushrooms on the rugby field I crossed to get to the base of the mountain from town.

Here is a video I took about halfway to the top. Sadly, I did not make it to the very top; as my old hip injury (arthritis from years of super-obesity) was flaring up and I was almost out of water. From the side you climb, it's really misleading to see where you really are. I will get there. Now, in this video, if you pause it at 23 seconds and look at the middle of the screen....waaay down on the flat earth, you can just make out a bright green Rugby field. That's the field I biked to, then walked across to even get started. How awesome is that?

Let's see, what else...Ok, then another weekend, I went with the ISOS group to Crystal Pools or Crystal Falls- I can't figure out the name as things aren't labeled here. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Why would she go hiking with that Robert character when he's such a liar?" 'Cause there are 6 pools with waterfalls and rocks that you jump off. Each pond is more secluded than the next, that's why. So we hike and we hike, and the group stops at the 1st pool but I keep going (for ONCE, trails are meagerly marked). I find the 2nd pool, which is, I think the biggest, and with the tallest jump off point (people have actually died), but I keep going. I want seclusion if I'm going to be swimming.

It's traditionally dry, rocky fynbos, but as I get closer, there's water and huge boulders (that are slippery). I keep going, the trail stops (though I see baboon poop, so I know I'm not alone) but far off I can see, within the greenery and rock ledges, the shimmer of water. I head in the direction and get there. Who needs a path? Not Sarah.

I start to see some great moss and as always, lots of fungi. Finally, I, alone, come to find this hidden pond, fed by a small waterfall. Above it is a 2nd waterfall and above that, a 3rd (you have to back up and crane your neck back. The 1st waterfall is to the left of the picture below, but I couldn't back up enough to get it into the frame as I emerged from the boulders.

I immediately want to swim, but there's no guide or hiker here to reassure me that it's safe. Inventorying in my brain everything I know that can hurt me in this part of Africa, I decide that it's safe, take off my clothes (I have my swim clothes {that's what they're called here} on underneath) and get into the murky water. In the middle there, kicking, wondering if something will come up and snatch me, might have been the scariest two minutes of my life. Nothing gets me, and I just enjoy it. I find a small rock I can actually walk on (they're all covered in algae) and I climb out then jump in, just so I can say that I did jump off a rock into the pond.

I carefully swim all over, with my camera in my mouth, and by the waterfall, I see lots of spiders (which were hard to photo, since I couldn't get very close to them), moss and ferns. This sort of veg isn't commonly found- only in these wonderful little river/pond nooks that I've been lucky enough to find (after hours of hiking).

I spent about 1.5 hours there by myself, waiting for other people to show, but they never did. Crystal pools has been the highlight of my trip. I'm going back next weekend with another group. The leader of our group wants to see this pond- as HE'S never gone that far. This picture on the left is misleading- the waterfall is not that tiny- I'm far away.

I trek back to the group, who all ask where I have been, and we have a leisurely hike back and wait for the bus at the coastline. My flatmate, Sarah took this below picture of me without my consent. But, I like it anyway. For the record, my ass is all dirty cause I hike in those white shorts and when you're on the way down you're often flattened against rocks/dirt letting gravity just ease you down.

The next day Sarah had a belated b-day braai for Elizabeth and I (pictured). Can you tell I'm skeptical of the person taking the picture? Grethe (that's a name) makes pretty cool cakes, and she made this one for us. It's the African flag with insects all over it (I was not the jerk who pointed out to her that they had 8 legs).

I'm almost caught up. I did some stuff this past weekend, and there's been some great developments with school things, but this is long enough for now.

Ps., I met two more dogs a couple of days ago that wanted nothing to do with me.

Cats Here are Assholes

This week has been pretty windy (thank you SE winds). When I say "windy" I mean, windows breaking, car alarms going off and items being sucked out of barely-open windows. If I'm ever fending off an alien in my room, all I have to do is hold onto something and open my window and it will be vacuumed out. Because of this wind, our class trip to Jonkershoek (see last blog) to collect (kill) insects was replaced by a trip to Butterfly World. This is a local attraction know for its (wait for it) number of live, free ranging butterflies. Butterflies poop a lot. I'd never considered that, before.

After 3 minutes of novelty I was bored out of my mind and found that there were more rooms that were way more interesting. There was a secluded spider room that ALSO had in it a gorgeous Hisser Roach colony. It was filled with shiny, active healthy roaches like I'd never seen before. The U needs to heed my warnings about not feeding their colony properly (their only constant food source is the bed of roach carcasses). In retrospect, I should have stolen that pale one. You know, to study it.

Because I phrased my blog about things I wanted to SEE in South Africa, I've now crossed off Giant Land Snails. I still want to hold one, though. They also had some phasmids that looked intimidating.

There were free-roaming marmosets as well as ducks/chickens/geese and an asshole cat. The marmoset, though ate raw meat (my ear), was my favorite. Well, later I saw the shop-cat biting some school kids, so maybe it redeemed itself a little there (again, TIA- as here you're on your own should you decide to pet a shop-cat).

No, we weren't supposed to touch the animals, but the cat bit ME, and the marmoset jumped onto my shoulder and licked my camera, so I did nothing wrong. I may have held a few of the Hissers too....so I didn't do much wrong.

Yesterday a friend and I rode into Cape Town on a white horse. By "White Horse," I mean the train. Part of the train riding routine, is that we parked out bikes far enough away from the train station as to be safe from thieves, then walked to the station. It's not safe to leave bikes tied up there, apparently. Although the station on this end of things was pretty low-tech the station in CT had been revamped recently, due to The World Cup. The round-trip first class ticket (meaning we had guaranteed seats) cost about $3.25 US.

At the CT station, if you go to the bathroom, there's a lady seated behind glass as you enter. She'll give you toilet paper and, should the need arise, condoms. There's no toilet paper in the stalls, due to massive theft. That was new.

Walking around Long Street (like you do), we found this place called, Mr. Pickwick's that looked charming as all-hell and went in. They had a page of milkshakes and appetizers that were just bowls of olives, so each of our needs were met instantly. Along with the breakfast, we got regular cups of coffee that turned out, for me anyway, to be the best I've ever had. Thick, smooth, dark but not bitter. Turns out it's a special blend made for them by a chap from the Congo and is a blend of 5 types of coffee (though, I was quoted 6 types, I didn't want to argue). It's on my list this week to get an espresso machine, then when I go back, to buy or steal as much of it as I can.

After that, we walked around more, got some piercings, presents for people back home as well as some local drugs- you know, standard tourist stuff. Next week we hit up the tattoo shops. Any suggestions?

I have the dumbest ideas

"Societies" are very popular at Stellenbosch. I'm in the ISOS (International Students...or Something" Society and the Judo Club. The vast majority of the ISOS members are international students, though there is a confusing attempt currently underway to get SA'can students to also join. ISOS organizes trips for students, so we can see as much of South Africa as possible.

Last weekend I signed up to climb the Stellenbosch Mountain (this is the mountain I posted pictures of when I arrived). As this was the first ISOS activity, the President was mildly honest about the trek. Although I was stopping very frequently to collect insects for my awful 150 specimen collection, I would have had to stop every 2 minutes anyway, as he failed to mention the Gladiator Steps one must pass to even set foot on the base of the mountain. If lactic acid was a commodity and could be drained from muscles, these activities would be a gold-mine.

Elizabeth (who lagged behind with me as an insect killing assistant) and I got up pretty high, but not quite to the first "part." In this picture you can see behind me how far that was, in and of itself. That road in the background is what leads (which way, you ask? Who knows, labels on hiking trails aren't done here) to the base of the mountain. I'll do it again, but at a normal pace, and will get to the top. The first part is the hardest part (or so I'm told).

Yesterday, the activity was a mixed-martial-arts sort of attack on the Jonkershoek Nature Reserve. The day entailed:

1) A walk to the ISOS Office, on campus (not that far, but worth mentioning)

2) An optional 7km (4.3 miles) cycle to the Jonkershoek gates

3) 10km (6.2 miles) hike on the Jeep Trail leading to the rugged trail up to a waterfall

4) 6.3km (3.9 miles) hike to/from the 2nd waterfall.

Since I got my ass handed to me on the Stellenbosch Mountain hike, I immediately opted out of the bike ride part (transport to the gate was offered for those who were "lazy" or "don't have a bike." A friend (a local, who is a bit of a mountain-man hiker and is familiar with these hikes) suggested that during the week we ride our bikes up to Jonkershoek, or just as far as I could go, so I could see what I was dealing with.

Getting into better shape is a core goal for my time here, and to this point (in life), the farthest I've biked was to the grocery store here, 1.7km away- so I agreed. At this point he mentioned that it was uphill most of the way. Oh good.

I was winded after only 10 minutes, but kept thinking I could do a little more- and that's how it went for the next 2 hours. I stopped a couple of times and walked a couple of the hills toward the end, but finally we arrived at the gates. All I wanted to do was collapse, but we had to leave right away as it was getting dark. The ride back was much more enjoyable- as there were fewer hills, and I was actually able to enjoy being between these mountains. I should have brought my camera as the sun was setting and lighting the mountains in a most inspiring manner.

Before I talk about the actual hike- there are some important Afrikaans Translations (and by "Afrikaans," I mean specific to one individual organizing these excursions) one needs to know before heading out with an Afrikaans guide:

Not Far = Far

Short Hike = Long hike

Easy hike = Unbelievably hard hike

It's quick-quick-quick = It's going to take forever

It's a clear jeep path = You need a jeep to get up the 5km sandy incline.

Just around the corner = Up ahead is a set of 84 vertical steps along a treacherous cliff that spans a corner.

You can do it = Get up

Only 2 more hills = Over the next 3km of steady incline there are two even more intense inclines.

This is a shortcut = It looks different from what we've been biking on and I'm hoping it will distract you.

We're almost there = Stop crying

It's 15 minutes from here = It's 15 minutes for an athletic billy goat

Beautiful view, huh? = Hurry up.

Budget your time here at the waterfall to get back down the mountain in time to catch the shuttle = You must leave immediately.

It was worth it though, right? = Don't hate me.

I've learned that what I've called "hiking" is really just leisurely walking

with trees along your path and dead leaves underfoot. Here, they have

a much more "Mad-Max" approach tot he activity. You're climbing up makeshift steps that are literally tall enough to require a leg to be swung over it and clinging to walls rather than slip down the edge that is only centimeters away. We traversed steep rocks littered with the corpses of students (the smarter of us stayed back/turned back long before). At one point, I passed a girl weeping with exhaustion. As is acceptable in times of war, her friends had left her behind....without water. I gave her as much of my water and sympathy as she could drink before shoving her aside to pass. My turn would arrive soon enough, I knew.

Finally, and I mean finally, we arrive at the river, a bit down from the waterfall of lore. It's a cavernous scene that transforms what I've come to associate with the South African landscape. Mosses, grass, tadpoles, frogs and ferns covered the rock walls as there is actual shade here. SHADE. Below are some images of the 5km walk through the winding mountainous ridge, followed by some pictures of the cavernous area. By the time I reached the waterfall, it was covered in people, so I didn't stay for long at that actual spot. I opted to try for a moment of solitude with the new sounds/sights.

Much as with the Stellenbosch Mountain hike, I will go back-- on a weekday--not with

an ISOS group.

Lists, Academics, Campus and Health

So far I've knocked off many things on my Africa list (if you count flying over Namibia as "seeing Namibia" and this week I took off another two: Jackass Penuins (cute, but ultimately a let down) and Judo. I don't know anyone's surname, and in many cases their first names, but the Sensei is called "Uncle Jon" (pronounced "Yon"). It is possibly the most welcoming place I've been, and he instructed the black/brown belts that they had to kiss me each time they threw me- so needless to say it was very different from what I'm used to. I appreciate the kindness on my first tentative visit, but they had better start getting more rough pretty quickly or I'll lose interest, for sure.

Academics:

The first week of classes here, you attend all the courses you want (that you were approved for, if mainstream, and any of the Int'l Students Cake classes) and at the end of the week you actually register for what you want to. The courses in which I'm officially enrolled, are:

1) Entomology, 8 US credits (eight), 12 hours of in class/practicum time a week (on the plus side, I can go barefoot in lab). This course is two semesters combined into one course. I must use a killing jar and learn how to set/preserve insects- but worry not, because apparently: "killing for science is justified." I'll learn taxonomy as well as morphology & physiology. While lectures thus-far have been in english (some Afrikaans slides), the practicums (6hrs a week) have been almost all in Afrikaans. While I did prepare, my Afrikaans is nowhere near a level that would allow me to understand what ABOUT "butterflies" they are talking about. I can pick up a slide and know that it has something to do with grasshoppers, but that's all. I will prevail.

I will have to amass a collection of 150 specimens (different families), preserved by standards set by a retired professor who has been doing this (he's still there full time, to help apparently) for 55 years, so that tells you a bit about his level of perfection. I like him. He assured me that the caterpillars "love" the boiling water. We will also have to know how to identify, on sight, 200 families (gulp).

This is what I'm up to in my room now, in the evenings. How is this not something they take you away from society for doing?

2) Biome Ecology, 4 US credits (3 hrs lecture, 3 hrs practical). This one's pretty self explanatory. There's a huge focus on Biomes of S. Africa, so it's particularly interesting. Having said that though, there are no textbooks, so no way to show up to class prepared. I do not care for that. Ten points to anyone who can tell me why this department logo makes me smile.

3) Afrikaans for Beginners. This week all we've had is our "First Meeting," and classes for it don't start until next week. First Meetings are held for courses to take care of administrative issues rather than waste time on the first day of class. I am not going to tell them that I know a little Afrikaans, so that they think I'm extra smart. It will be good to actually use what's floating around in my head. I hear things all over, and it takes me too long to process it to be able to immediately respond. I want to be faster on my feet with what I DO know.

Campus

This picture is of what we'd call a "Student Center" and is called "The Neelsie." The first floor is mostly restaurants, like a food court- though some banks and a 7-11 (no Slurpees, but lots of their meat pies). There are a few African dishes, but it's mostly burgers/fries/things with sauces poured all over them. There is a "Health Burger" I get from one place, and if you ask for the "Health Sandwich" they are confused, even though there is no burger of any kind on the sandwich.

The second floor has the school bookstores (there are 2), travel shops, the campus (and residence hall) Post Office and clothing stores (like the mall). The second floor has the best place on campus for espresso (which is, if a single, about $1.50). Finally the 3rd floor has meeting rooms and a radio station (apparently).

I spend as little time in The Neelsie as possible.

Health

This week i visited campus health services building (the clinic) to inquire about contraceptive medications. Before I get too deep into this story, I should be clear in my reasoning for telling it. People don't often tell you the gritty things about their travels, and I don't want this "blog" to be simple propaganda. There will be blogs about the Americans here, black/white people and the bathrooms, too. Readers can rest assured that I'm not whoring it up (I mean, I did only just arrive); I'm being practical. Babies are like the huge handwoven rugs they sell here. Sure they're interesting and tell a story, but what would I ever do with one?

Alright- here we go. I show up with the form I found online which had been requested to accompany me, filled out. They were stunned at this, and it caused quite an uproar. I may have literally been the first personto do what they were asked to do online. Several nurses were called together to marvel over it.

I was called to the back almost immediately, and I while there was an exam table, it was more like a cot, and more strangely, the room appeared to be another nurse's office. She was typing on her keyboard, sitting behind a large wooden desk. Both women had stethoscopes around their necks, so I'm not sure of the hierarchy. I was seated in one of the chairs in front of her desk, I assumed for some sort of verbal consultation.

Instead, the nurse (oh, in this clinic I saw no white people, which was a nice change) who had brought me into the exam room/office asked: "What kind of birth control do you want?" I asked her what my options were and she started to tell me all the free options provided by the state. I asked some questions, as I'd not had the methods they offered (pill/shot), but as with most information in SA, it was pretty glossy. I opted for the 2 month shot vs. the 3 month shot (I have no idea why I chose that). During the discussion, there were no questions about my background or health- nor did the woman behind the desk look at me or speak to me, though I was sitting directly in front of her.

After my choice was made, the nurse opened door #1 and pulled out a small brown glass vial. Imagine you're watching a movie about the transport of polio vaccinations to Central Africa and you'll be imagining the vial she was holding. She told me to go over to the cot/exam table where she took my blood pressure (which was normal). I watched her snap the glass top off the vial and get a syringe from the coffee table that was being used for organizing supplies and open the sealed package. She dipped the needle into the now exposed medication and sucked it in and set it on the counter.

I'd like to point out at this juncture, that while I jest about the condition of things here, I really do love it. Who cares if tables are old and wobbly, if coffee tables are used in Dr's office or if your shot doesn't come in a pre-packaged brand name bo? I hate our consumer society in which everything has to be sterile (poor choice of words in this story) and new. Having said that, this all-purpose needle she unveiled caused my jaw to drop. I'm no sissy about needles, but this was the size of a blood donation needle- if not larger (and WAAAY longer). Quickly, I regained my composure and thought, "At the least, this will be interesting."

She indicated with a pat on her rump that I was to get down, and turn around so she could stab me in the ass. I hopped off the table and turned, facing the woman sitting at the desk, doing her taxes for all I knew and had to bite my lip to stop a laugh. Is this normal? Who WAS she? What is going on? The injection was uneventful and didn't hurt at all.

The nurse filled in my book so that I'd not forget to return and asked if I wanted my free AIDS test. Not free AIDS test pen or ribbon, but the full on test itself. Now, here I am in Africa getting free birth control without having to spend weeks on paperwork and providing documentation from my employer 6 years ago, and on top of that they're offering a free AIDS test? They were surprised to learn that I'd never had one and that in the US, the standard practice is to not test "non-high-risk-patients." Since I've never had unprotected sex with deviants on their pamphlets, I've never been considered to be high risk, thus never tested. I'm tickled at the health care I'm getting here---as a foreigner.

The whole strange event took less than 10 minutes and they were more friendly than any Dr's office I've ever been to before. AND, they were free. As a side- here are some gems from the booklet they gave me to teach me about my chosen drug (from Bayer)- which also takes the time to educate on the actual event of conception itself:

"On each side of your womb, there are egg nests...If the egg meets a man's seed, you become pregnant and a baby is formed...."

"It (the medicine) stops the egg nests from preparing another egg. Because no egg is released, it prevents you from falling pregnant. It thickens the mucus so the man's seed can't reach the nest..."

If I find out what that woman at the desk was doing, I'll share it at another time.