Why yes Nature, I did order this- thank you.

Friday, May 5th I went hiking on Cougar Mountain and it was just the introduction I needed.  It was only about 25 minutes from the bunkhouse (which is in N. Seattle), and I had to go all the way SE through Seattle to Issaquah- so it was super nice and secluded for being so close.

Signage was an issue though, as I had NO idea where I was on the mountain and ended up hiking for about 4 hours until I ran into someone who kindly gave me a heads up on which trails go where.  On that note, Minnesota has NOTHING on "Seattle Nice."  I've never encountered so many friendly people in all areas of life- and so many people with their dogs in the streets either, for that matter.

As for the NOAA Groundfish Observing Training?  This place is a federal facility, so security is an issue, and it's HUGE.  I had no idea, frankly, how huge this entire industry was, in regards to its regulation.  Once on a boat, I'm legally prohibited from sharing photos online of the boats or my activities- even if they're from personal cameras on personal time.

They told us that this three week training would be "intense," but that's not the word.  No word exists to describe it.  Imagine taking a full load of organic chemistries and having class from 8-5, with labs (and ID-ing fishes that are so similar, no dichotomous keys exist for them) and 4-5 hours of homework each night.  Oh, and it's not like normal training where everyone just gets to the end and starts working, oh no.  There's a mid-term on Tuesday, and if we don't pass, we're out.  At the end there are two finals: one for the written part and another for the fish identification part.  If we fail either, we're out.  What's failing?  60%? 70%?  Nope- you have to get 80% to pass each exam.

This is my trainer- I won't post her name, as I told her I'd not post this online.  What a sport, aye?

As you come out of the bathroom, there's this big display with a bunch of seabirds in it.  One of them, this gull, has an eye that is directed backwards, looking right at the bathroom door.  So, when you come out, he's staring at you.  Then, because of the nature of the glass eye, as you continue to lock eyes with it, the eyes follow you as you pass.  Bananaman was not a fan.

This guy didn't "feel comfortable" taking a picture with Bananaman.

Other than two other guys who have been doing this for years (if you don't do it for 18 months, you have to go through the training again), I'm easily the oldest person in the room.  Our texts of regulations and sample procedures are so complex and time consuming, this was the first time I cracked the friendly looking "Pacific Coast Fishes" book.  No, we don't use resources like that in real life...

Never have I felt so defeated in a course in which I understood the fundamentals so well.  There is just such a huge amount of information to be absorbed to the nth degree in such a short amount of time.  There are easily 10x more exceptions to each and every duty than there are rules, so it's very difficult to even get the basics straight in your head.  25% of the class failed last time they ran a training session and in the house is a guy who has failed 2x already (different components each time).  This path is not a sure thing.

Where's its head??

I don't think I took any pictures in North Dakota- but I will say, that aaaalllll the way to the west side, it starts to get a little pretty and not so boring.  

Once in Montana, I made a disturbing find pretty quickly.  I found this ball of fur and suspected it was a dead animal.  Using an assessment tool modified for distance use, I examined the suspected carcass (I poked it with a stick) and found it to be solid.  More prodding revealed insects in the fur and a tail.  It's a wolf (I think) with its head cut off.  Welcome to Montana.

Less awful finds, farther to the west:

Washington started out pretty flat and boring, frankly:

After a couple of hundred miles though, I was quite happy to find this:

At the bunkhouse (more pictures to follow) there are three stories and several rooms.  It's basically a "Jersey Shore" situation, but totally different (make sense?).  I nabbed a room in the basement, which is cool (temperature wise).  There's no notices up or markings of any kind for newbies, so had there not been someone here to fill me in, I'd have been lost.  There's no notes up about who is where/what rooms, and there's stuff all over from observers currently deployed, so it's a bit confusing.

As I write this, a couple of guys and a non-resident observer have returned from the bars, and I'm having flashbacks to my first few months in South Africa.  Sigh.  BOOM-BOOM, laughter, yelling....repeat.  The folks I've met so far are not the scientists I had hoped they'd be.  :(

Groundfish Observing at its finest....

What the hell is a Groundfish Observer?  It's someone with some sort of degree in the natural sciences that monitors the catches of commercial fishing vessels for NOAA.  The distinction is that there are lots of types of observing programs (shellfish, mammals, crabs) depending on the part of the globe and the governments/agencies involved.

Alaskan and federal agencies monitor commercial fish catches.  They do this by stationing biologists with specific backgrounds on the boats to sample catches.  The agencies don't hire these observers themselves, they hire companies to do that for them and there are 5 currently in place.  Observers are hired by a company and are trained and monitored by the agencies. 

Training is 3 weeks, in Seattle, after which observers are shipped/flown to an Alaskan port (Dutch Harbor) where they board a fishing vessel.  Depending on the size of the vessel, there will be 1 to 2 observers, and rarely, 3.

The goals of observers and fishing vessels are different and observers are thus federally protected from being pestered, and have direct communications that are secure- even from the captain.

I don't give money to panhandlers, I give 'em bikes

When I got here, I invested in a bike. It was good for getting around campus and to the shops. A friend here, Robert, took me under his wing and biked with me my first time to Jonkershoek Reserve- a bitch of a ride, largely up hill. I stopped to pass out several times and really thought I'd not make it, though I did. Later, he commented that it was impressive that I made it on my first try, as it had taken him three tries to make it- especially since I was too fat for my bike. Ok, he didn't say 'fat' but he said I was too big for the frame. I didn't know there were sizes. Sigh, of course there are sizes, and of course I need a plus-sized frame.

I traded it in for a really nice bike with shocks and a wheel that came off- both things I'd not been aware of, before. This is the bike I bonded with, riding to Jonkershoek and getting into shape.

Right after I shredded my knee, my friend/flatmate Sarah borrowed my bike to go to campus, where it of course got stolen- of course it was locked up. Classes had ended so it wasn't all that busy on campus, but still. My baby was gone. She got me a new bike that was as close to my old one as she could:

I never really liked this bike. The first time I rode it, the chain came off. When I took it to JH, the chain came off again, the back tire went dead flat, and that back tire also had shit for tread. Still though, when it got stolen last week I was pissed. I had parked it in a busy area and used a lock and it was broad daylight.

When I walked into the bike shop, the guy, who had sold me the others, recognized me and his jaw dropped when I told him. "Again?" I got a small discount, which was nice, but I'm sick of living like this, frankly. Lock everything up, double lock, get solid steel "U" locks and put everything in your trunk. Pay people when you pull out of a place because they're standing there and expect to be given money. Pestered for money 3 times in less than 24 hours, and God help you when you go to Cape Town, where they argue with you for money.

This is my 4th bike, I've named her Tia. She's German, like my 2nd bike, so I'm hopeful. I rode her to JH from the shop, my first attempt to JH during my recovery, and it was actually easier than the last time I had ridden up there, which was good. That picture on the right is on the way to JH, as you pass a vinyard.

To relax after the stresses of this awful semester (I hate molecular ecology, as I keep getting 30, 40 and 50%'s on assignments with vague guidelines), I find friends.

Last weekend I also encountered my first rain spider (insert shudder). Koos had a friend over, and after meeting my roaches, he just assumed I liked all creepy-crawlies, and proudly presented me with the giant spider he'd found outside. Though the hair shot up on the back of my neck, I couldn't back down, and I cautiously extended my hand- they can bite. The creepster skittled up my arm while I tried not to panic. I went outside to put it in a tree, and as soon as I got within 3 feet of it, the thing flat out disappeared. I asked Koos's friend to check my back/hair, as I don't think I'd have cared for putting my hair in a ponytail only to get a handful of spider.

Koos had, as usual, a braai, and had some "Texas steak." I got that pineapple for R9.99. That's about $1.25 US. It makes getting bikes stolen left and right a little more tolerable. The next braai, after South Africa's impotent World Cup play Sunday morning, had springbok and some sort of side of pork that was more fat than meat.

Things may turn up for me, though. My friend Gail lives on a farm, and she says I can get a baby duck and raise it a bit, then bring it to live (not be strangled and eaten) there. I need to check with Koos. I probably won't, but thinking about having a baby duck makes me feel better.

Vleis 'n Rugby (Meat and Rugby)

Gister was nasionale braaidag (yesterday was National Braai {BBQ} day). It used to be the "National Heritage Day," but in 2005 it was re-branded in honor of the meat loving traditions. Nice, huh? This is an official public holiday- meaning, that had it fallen on Sunday rather than Sunday, everyone would have had Monday off. Before you judge South Africans too harshly for their abundance of seemingly obscure holidays, in Florida, we had no school on "Rodeo Day" when I lived there in the 90's. People back home don't fully understand to the extent that South Africa has a "meat culture." I didn't realize when I got here, but figured it out-fast.

In Lobatse, that family that took Geoff and me in for the night served us meat for dinner, and more meat for breakfast. Literally, our three choices in the morning to go with our pap were mutton, beef and port chops. Pap is a corn based product that can be called a porridge. Lots of regions have differing ways of preparing it- krummel is the lumpy dry way, but I like it when it's softer (picture on the right, the mound that retains its shape). It's a pure form of carbohydrate, much like heroin. The poor people here buy huge bags of it and walk home with it on their heads. It's super cheap and filling.

Anyway, back to the meat stuff. Here are some of the potato chip flavors one finds at any shop: Simba Smoked Beef, Spare Ribs, Flame Grilled Steak, Vetkeok & Polony (fried bread and bologna), Walkie Talkie Chicken and Snoek & Atchar (pickle & fish).

Doritos Chilli Ribs, Grilled Steak, T-Bone Steak

Fritos and Lays have some really interesting flavors (they love tomato here), but they don't appear to have jumped on the meat wagons. Even the cheesy puff snacks here appear in chicken, beef, ribs and "savory." There are also these soft maize (corn) snacks prawn flavored, and bacon flavored. The bacon ones look like little pieces of bacon- like "Beggin Strips" for people.

Appetizer lists are filled with meats- especially livers, tongues and necks. That I'll never understand. If I bike to my nearby petrol station to get some snacks, I'll find a whole section of meat for braai-ing. Granted it's a rich area, but what gas station has t-bones or pork chops- seasoned or unseasoned. Even potato salad here has real bacon all over it. Property listings are made with regard to braai-decks, or braai areas. When university departments get together (as they do often), it's always a 'bring and braai.'

In restaurants when you buy your hamburgers, you routinely have the options of regular mince (ground beef), ostrich or springbok. Likewise in the stores, the meat sections are huge, and have a big variety of not only animal types (lots of ostrich and lamb) but seasoned options and pre-made braai packs.

I'm not proud, but I've been living as a hypocrite here- eating meat after being here for only three months. I gave myself a two month window in which to experience this part of the culture, and haven't looked back, since. I avoid it most times, but when there's a braai, I usually take a hit. In addition to the standard meats, I've eaten Kudu, Gemsbock (Oryx), Springbok, Ostrich, Illegally harvested Crayfish (another story, and trust me, I was not pleased, but it was an awkward situation), crabsticks made from God knows what, and yes, Zebra. I'm not proud, and am actually quite sad, looking at these pictures. I will get back on the wagon.

Dried meat- Biltong is also HUGE here. Not to be confused with "Beef Jerky," it's meat dried in air. Levels of seasoning vary, but I've never seen flavors other than "spiced." Sorry folks, no "Teryaki Biltong." When you go to a specialty shop, you can get biltong in meat type varieties (ostrich, springbok, beef, kudu, etc.) and in size types (giant hung slabs, "smaller" sizes, little bite-sized pieces, then shavings that I'm still not sure what one does with. When I had my first piece, it was brown on the outside, and on the inside, soft and red. I got grossed out, thinking my piece wasn't "done." It was explained to me that it's like steak, you get it rare, and it's suppsed to be like gnawing on dried, yet supple red flesh. I never had any again.
Droewors are the tubes of encased dried meat. Think slim-jim only with integrity.

Finally, it's the world cup, so it's rugby fever here. It's actually an interesting, fast paced game and I've found myself getting very excited on more than one occasion. South Africa won last year, so there's a good amount of pressure. Next week will be the elimination games, so the intensity is only rising.

Did you know the USA has a team? Isn't that cute? Suffice it to say that the USA team isn't a threat. The big boys are South Africa, New Zealand, Fiji, England (who I'm told we don't like) and Australia (from what I gather). Oh, and Japan has a team that's just awful, I guess.