10 things I DO want to see in South Africa

I've just heard that I did get two scholarships (The Benjamin A. Gilman Scholarship and one from UMn), so $7,000 is knocked out! As things start to fall into place, I feel it's safe to start counting eggs. I'll spare you all the nerdy science stuff, as when I see these things, I'll blog about them in detail at that time. For now, this is just a generalized listing:

1. The Cape Town Airport, Stellenbosch University and My Room.
I don't think I'll feel comfortable until I see these three things. My fears tell me I'll never get to Cape Town. If I do and then somehow manage to get to Stellenbosch, I'll get there and someone will peruse a clip-board and tell me that nope, my name isn't anywhere on it and to head on back to Cape Town to go back to the U.S.

2. Great White Sharks

From a boat........Breaching..........From a Cage........Dare I dream?

3. Table Mountain
This is, well, a flat top mountain that's about 3,500 feet above sea level (the Appalachian Mountains have a peak of about 4,700 feet).

3. Jackass Penguins
Why? Because I want to know why they're called "Jackasses."

4. Giant Land Snails!
I will not bring one home. I will not bring one home. I will not bring one home. I will not....

5. Deserts: Karoo & Namibia

6. Mammals

"The Big Five" is an old Hunting term used to refer to Lions, Rhinos, Leopards, Elephants and Buffalo. I suppose there's no way I'll avoid seeing these guys, but to be honest, they're not a huge draw since you can't touch them. Other than these, I hope to see: Southern Right Whales, Humpback Whales, Dolphins and Seals.

7. Insects
Goliathus albosignatus, Mecynorrhina passerinii, Taurhina splendens, Anisorrhina flavomaculata, Trichostetha fascicularis, Diplognatha gagates, Dung Beetles- any, Sparrmannia flava, Heliocopris neptunus, Catharsius tricornutus, Anachalcos convexus, Julodis cirrosa, Evides pubiventris, Idolomantis diabolica....

8. Judo
In South Africa Judo is practiced by more than fifteen thousand judokas (that's the name for someone who does Judo). Judo is VERY popular in the country and is taught in schools and local clubs. Apparently Stellenbosch has a pretty good team, too. I found a flier from the school in which they were featured: "The Maties judo team has achieved the near impossible by bringing home the USSA (inter-university) judo trophy for the seventh year in a row...." They had 5 team members who got Gold in their respective weight categories. Maybe they'll need someone to bring them towels or something.

9. Plants
Grasses, Acacias, Baobab Tree, Protea cynaroides (King Protea), Halfmen palms, Lithops, Quiver Tree, Aloe (in Karoo), Mpumalanga....

8. The Stellenbosch Winelands....and wine
Until a couple of years ago I had no idea that South Africa was a major wine producing country- in particular, Stellenbosch, Paarl and Franschhoek are the major production hubs. I had no trouble finding wine from South Africa at local liquor stores here in Minnesota, once I started looking.




9. Society? People? Transportation?

• The Arrested Development Movie(it would be a social engagement if I don't go alone)
  
• I suppose it would be interesting to see Robbeneiland (Robben Island).
• Anyone that has done research in Madagascar.
• People.
• Metrorail (this is how I'll get around The Western Cape)
  

10. Other Countries in Southern Africa (most likely to least likely):
Namibia, Lesotho, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Swaziland, Mozambique, Madagascar (this one's a long shot, I know. Madagascar is about 2,000 miles from Stellenbosch, but hey, that's better than 10,000, right?), Mpumalanga, Congo (both), Camaroon, Gabon and Kenya.

Tidbits about South Africa

I'm going to South Africa, which is in Southern Africa. "South Africa" is a country, and "Southern Africa" is a region of Africa that encompasses South Africa, Namibia, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Mozambique as well as the kingdoms of Losotho and Swaziland (which are inside S.A.).
There are 9 provinces in South Africa, each with their own capitol- though the country itself has only (only) three capitols, each one serving a specific organizational function. My Province is the "Western Cape" and the capital is Cape Town- which is one of the three capitols (the legislative capitol). Although South Africa has 11 official languages, there are a lot more spoken in rural areas that are considered to be endangered. Afrikaans (rooted in 17th century Dutch) and English are the main spoken languages (in public) in my province, as well as in the Northern Province.

Stellenbosch (about 50 km east of Cape Town) is the city in which I'll live and study. Stellenbosch University "lies in the picturesque Jonkershoek Valley in the heart of the Western Cape Winelands." I didn’t know South Africa had a “Wineland” either, but apparently they do- and they're actually a major wine producer. I’ve been to a few liquor stores here in Plymouth and have had no trouble getting a few bottles (you know, for research).

The university was established in the 17th century (I know!) and has since grown to have 24,000 students, (UMn had about 28,000 last year) and 800 lecturers. Furthermore, it's recognized as one of the top 4 research universities in S.A. and it has one of the countries highest proportions of post-graduate students. The educational standards here rival that of many U.S. institutions, and the education I'm going to get is going to make me a very competitive graduate student. I'll be housed with other international students in my program in the Concordia housing, which appear to be apartments (right picture).

They have Southern Hemisphere Semesters so the first semester starts at the end of January and runs until June and the second semester is July to early December. Great thing is, the semesters are busted up into terms, with a week off in between. They also have two opportunities for taking a final exam, so if the first one doesn't go your way, you can try it again! On the flip side, in reviewing course information, most of the points are just one final at the end vs. in the U.S. where we have exams/quizzes/homeworks. Oh, and to be full-time, you have to take 15 credits. FIFTEEN credits. 1-5.

As Stellenbosch has a dedication to maintain Afrikaans culture, 51% of courses are taught in either all Afrikaans or partially in Afrikaans. Many of the courses I've been approved to take (which are in ecology & entomology) are offered in English, but some are taught partially in Afrikaans. They have a policy that exams and quizzes can be taken in the language of your choice though, so even if I don't follow lectures, I'll at least be able to read the questions.

roosterbrood.....dertien.....soetmieles......vliegtuig (this is virtually unpronounceable)

The climate is radically varied throughout the country, depending on where you are, due to distance from the equator as well as altitude. When I arrive in January it will be summer and the hottest of days will only be around 26 C. My winters (your summers) will apparently only reach 7 C. For you non-science geeks, you can do the C to F conversion on your own time.

Some common questions I've gotten:

1) What is the time difference? I'll be 7-8 hours ahead of you, depending on daylight savings time.
2) Will you call me? No, but for those that simply must see/talk to me, there's "Skype" and I should have regular online access.
3) Is it expensive? The African Rand/U.S. dollar has a very favorable exchange rate, so it's a cheaper study abroad placement than other destinations. It's about $18,000 dollars for one year there, which includes tuition, room and 3 meals a day. I think that's a pretty good deal. Yes, financial aid will help with these costs.
4) Will you ever come back? ......yes?
5) Where will Buffy go? Buffy will stay with her grand-parents to whom she is already bonded. The Hisser Roaches have been adopted by a friend who also appreciates insects (however cautiously). I'm still looking for a home for the Tail-less Whip Scorpion, if anyone's interested (it's harmless, just scary looking).

It all began with a Craigslist ad for jiz

This was something I wrote up in 2007 for another blog, but felt it needed to again be shared with the world.

Like any nerd with a new toy, I played with my new microscope as soon as I got it. After the ho-hum molds and onion tips, I wanted to see a motile cell. Where in the winter could I get a motile cell? My friend Rob, seeing my dilemma took it upon himself to post an ad on Craigslist (unbeknownst to me) for some jiz. Rest assured, this ad was placed for amusement, not for follow-through. I had no idea this was going on this cold weeknight until I checked my email and was started at the emails awaiting me.

The ad was:

"Ok- sounds weird, i know. I am a biology major and want to try out my new microscope and am really curious what your "seed" looks like under 1500X magnification.

Here are the rules:
1. I wont help, but will watch if you want me to.
2. Come, Cum, and Go. No Chit-chat, small talk, I got work to do.

Serious Emails with pics get a response.  I am available ASAP, and you should be too."

Within one hour there were about 60 responses (sixty!). Here are some of the
responses, AND corresponding pictures (the ones fit for publication).  I have blurred out their
faces since, well, they were just trying to help, after all.

1. When do you need it? hi im available right now, i cum for u Sounds like fun, but you would have to be naked, or at least partially so. Am willing to help out the cause. My seed will dance like no one is watching...let me know...seriuos, safe and sane here Let me know where to meet you (pic)

2. I've been told my sperm is equipped with ropes and grappelling hooks. If I donate a load to your science study can I at least look in the microscope to see if it's true.

3. Where in the cities are you? I'm very excited
about making a donation....Pics attached.

(I could only post one of the pictures he attached)

4. I've been told my sperm is equipped with ropes and grappelling hooks. If I donate a load to your science study can I at least look in the microscope to see if it's true.

5. 38 Male New Brighton. I won't send a pic but you won't be disappointed.

6. Hello, my name is %^(&#. As far as anything you would like to know just ask, I am open to anything.

7. I would be up for shooting load for you to look at. Your help would be preffered but not required. I would like to see what it looks like too if that would be ok.

8.  Will you be naked or will you be masturbating in order to speed up the process?

9. Why not, sounds kinda hot.  I'll stop by cum for you and take off no chit chat. Plus I'm not too bad
to look at either.  I'm 28 6'3" 200 lb

10.  Some things about me: 26 Years Old 5'11" with Average Athletic build Live in
Bloomington.  Attached a photo and do have more if you want!  If you have some, 
Great!  It'd be nice to see who is doing the studying!  Hope to hear back!



11.  i will do it if u  get naked. ++++ so i ge-t- -t-u-r-n- -o-n--a-n-d----------- some sma-ll talk2-------------
 --------- call me at 651-xxx-xxx

12. Sounds interesting and I cum a lot when and where?

13.  Is this for real???  If so...I'm kinda curious what it looks like too!!!  HAHA!! Lemme know if
  you're serious!


14.  I have to admit I am intrigued and honestly I am out here
   trying to get laid when you get right down to brass tacks.
   However I am also a bit of a science nerd and if I could
   look at some things through your scope.  I would be willing
   to help you out.  My own interests are outer space so I do
   love to gaze at things as well.

15. Hey there!  I am single, 27, blonde hair, blue eyes, 6-2 tall, and tone physique.   Cute.  Fun to
 be around....good sense of humor.  So I am very interested in helping you out with your viewing
 pleasure.   Drop me a line.  I'm in St. Louis Park, by the way.

16.  i would to be the one that does that. i'm open right now and i could come to you.  i hope you are
  real and i have pic


17.  Where are you located? I am willing to do this... you want to look for the swimmers??
   okay....


18.  This is kind of cool.  I would love to help! I am available right now!  No need for your help.  You
   can watch if you want. Ill leave right away. No expectations.  I'm 6'2", 35 and very good looking.
   Respectful, clean and well endowed! Wanna see.  Please reply! 

19. Any how here is a picture of me in my other happy place. I do work for myself in private practice so I am available on my own schedule.

20.  Give me a different E-mail address to send you a picture. Also, would you be willing to lend a
 "hand" for my "seed"?

21.  did u get a 100 guys already said that they will do it. if you still need someone let me know I
  could be at your place with in minutes.


22.  I would love to help you with your science project! call me i will
   be right over!  "Bob" XXX-XXX-XXXX

23. Your add cought my eye and I was wondering if you could tell if I am zero's out. I got fixed (ouch) about a year ago, but never went to the follow up.

Then later:
Are you still looking for someone to come over?

24. if you are for real i am so interested. i am a white male 55 and love to be watched as my sperm comes out of my penis and i love the thought of you looking at my sperm i a microscope i had a test done about ten or twelve years ago at which time they told me that i had plenty of sperm and could make lots of babies then, so i would be hopeful that you would be able to watch my sperm swim around on your slide then let me know what you think.

25. hello is this a serious add i am interested! I am a student at the UofM and could use a break tonight...please respond!!

26. i live in south mpls and i go to normandale college u can find on yahoo messageer my screen name is XXXXX write back if u want to that is me if u like the pic and we can get to know each other and we can hang out and do whatever u want to do

27. If I give you a sample, can you check for swimmers? Thanks!

28. you want my seed you can have it... contact me :-)

(Yes, I blurred out the dog's eyes, too)

29. Wanna see the semen from a guy that's had a vasectomy?

30. I attached two photos! Just out of curiosity why do you want a picture if your just gonna look at a sample? Im curious what the little fellows look like myself...lol

(I love that this guy- and others, were totally onto the game but still sent pictures of themselves to an ad for jiz on Craigslist!)

Then finally:
"Your posting has been flagged for removal.
Approximately 98% of postings removed are in violation of craigslist posting guidelines....."

And before anyone asks, no of COURSE no ads were responded to- although a couple of the fellows seemed to be kind of good natured. Just good to know there are so many people willing to help out a struggling student.

Nicknames

I would like to take this opportunity to address an issue that has been looming large in days of late. There are certain persons, who will remain nameless, who have recently insisted that they be referred to by alternate name of their choosing. I find this abrupt and unnecessary change whilst in mid-stream to be most unacceptable and frivolous. Granted, these requested name changes are slight in nature, they are, however, uncharacteristic of their identities as I have come to know them.

Imagine if Winston Churchill suddenly decided to change his name to "Winnie Churchill's" and refused to respond otherwise. The fate of the Western World- no, the entire world could have been compromised by this malicious request. Would it be morally responsible of Winston's progeny to do such a thing? No! of course not! So, why are those of us outside of major current or historical events any different?

What if the estates of past social and political icons legally changed the names of their forefathers? What then? We'd have great speeches by "Abe-meister Lincoln" and "Marti King?" Famous movie quotes from "Clarki Gable, Georgie C. Scott" and "Marly Brando." Who would we sing along to? "Johnny Lennon" and "Kurtie Cobain?"

I have respect for these individuals and do not want to call them something that I instinctively associate with someone less intelligent than I know them to be. Though this is a sad commentary on our society (and my preconceived notions as well which will perhaps be addressed in some appropriate sociological seminar), do we not simply add an "ie" or "y" to the end of their name when attempting to downgrade their efforts or belittle them? Of course we do, cause doing so makes their name sound silly. Why? Because typically, only small pets that hop for treats resembling bacon strips sport these kinds of names with any semblance of dignity.

Do we all not have a cultural responsibility to not only ourselves, but to those around us? Is it fair that we randomly add vowels to the ends of our perfectly suited names and insist that others use them at all times? People of the world, I implore you! So much suffering can be alleviated, if only we accept our names in-tact, as our parents had intended them (all "Ima Piggs" hold exception to this, for obvious reasons.

In closing I would also like to humbly request, that should anyone have any abstract names to which they would prefer to be referred by innocent bystanders (in a Napoleonic manner), that they please introduce themselves as such at each and every introduction. It is much less difficult to address someone with a silly name when you have never assigned any validity to their name to begin with.