Tidbits about South Africa

I'm going to South Africa, which is in Southern Africa. "South Africa" is a country, and "Southern Africa" is a region of Africa that encompasses South Africa, Namibia, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Mozambique as well as the kingdoms of Losotho and Swaziland (which are inside S.A.).
There are 9 provinces in South Africa, each with their own capitol- though the country itself has only (only) three capitols, each one serving a specific organizational function. My Province is the "Western Cape" and the capital is Cape Town- which is one of the three capitols (the legislative capitol). Although South Africa has 11 official languages, there are a lot more spoken in rural areas that are considered to be endangered. Afrikaans (rooted in 17th century Dutch) and English are the main spoken languages (in public) in my province, as well as in the Northern Province.

Stellenbosch (about 50 km east of Cape Town) is the city in which I'll live and study. Stellenbosch University "lies in the picturesque Jonkershoek Valley in the heart of the Western Cape Winelands." I didn’t know South Africa had a “Wineland” either, but apparently they do- and they're actually a major wine producer. I’ve been to a few liquor stores here in Plymouth and have had no trouble getting a few bottles (you know, for research).

The university was established in the 17th century (I know!) and has since grown to have 24,000 students, (UMn had about 28,000 last year) and 800 lecturers. Furthermore, it's recognized as one of the top 4 research universities in S.A. and it has one of the countries highest proportions of post-graduate students. The educational standards here rival that of many U.S. institutions, and the education I'm going to get is going to make me a very competitive graduate student. I'll be housed with other international students in my program in the Concordia housing, which appear to be apartments (right picture).

They have Southern Hemisphere Semesters so the first semester starts at the end of January and runs until June and the second semester is July to early December. Great thing is, the semesters are busted up into terms, with a week off in between. They also have two opportunities for taking a final exam, so if the first one doesn't go your way, you can try it again! On the flip side, in reviewing course information, most of the points are just one final at the end vs. in the U.S. where we have exams/quizzes/homeworks. Oh, and to be full-time, you have to take 15 credits. FIFTEEN credits. 1-5.

As Stellenbosch has a dedication to maintain Afrikaans culture, 51% of courses are taught in either all Afrikaans or partially in Afrikaans. Many of the courses I've been approved to take (which are in ecology & entomology) are offered in English, but some are taught partially in Afrikaans. They have a policy that exams and quizzes can be taken in the language of your choice though, so even if I don't follow lectures, I'll at least be able to read the questions.

roosterbrood.....dertien.....soetmieles......vliegtuig (this is virtually unpronounceable)

The climate is radically varied throughout the country, depending on where you are, due to distance from the equator as well as altitude. When I arrive in January it will be summer and the hottest of days will only be around 26 C. My winters (your summers) will apparently only reach 7 C. For you non-science geeks, you can do the C to F conversion on your own time.

Some common questions I've gotten:

1) What is the time difference? I'll be 7-8 hours ahead of you, depending on daylight savings time.
2) Will you call me? No, but for those that simply must see/talk to me, there's "Skype" and I should have regular online access.
3) Is it expensive? The African Rand/U.S. dollar has a very favorable exchange rate, so it's a cheaper study abroad placement than other destinations. It's about $18,000 dollars for one year there, which includes tuition, room and 3 meals a day. I think that's a pretty good deal. Yes, financial aid will help with these costs.
4) Will you ever come back? ......yes?
5) Where will Buffy go? Buffy will stay with her grand-parents to whom she is already bonded. The Hisser Roaches have been adopted by a friend who also appreciates insects (however cautiously). I'm still looking for a home for the Tail-less Whip Scorpion, if anyone's interested (it's harmless, just scary looking).

It all began with a Craigslist ad for jiz

This was something I wrote up in 2007 for another blog, but felt it needed to again be shared with the world.

Like any nerd with a new toy, I played with my new microscope as soon as I got it. After the ho-hum molds and onion tips, I wanted to see a motile cell. Where in the winter could I get a motile cell? My friend Rob, seeing my dilemma took it upon himself to post an ad on Craigslist (unbeknownst to me) for some jiz. Rest assured, this ad was placed for amusement, not for follow-through. I had no idea this was going on this cold weeknight until I checked my email and was started at the emails awaiting me.

The ad was:

"Ok- sounds weird, i know. I am a biology major and want to try out my new microscope and am really curious what your "seed" looks like under 1500X magnification.

Here are the rules:
1. I wont help, but will watch if you want me to.
2. Come, Cum, and Go. No Chit-chat, small talk, I got work to do.

Serious Emails with pics get a response.  I am available ASAP, and you should be too."

Within one hour there were about 60 responses (sixty!). Here are some of the
responses, AND corresponding pictures (the ones fit for publication).  I have blurred out their
faces since, well, they were just trying to help, after all.

1. When do you need it? hi im available right now, i cum for u Sounds like fun, but you would have to be naked, or at least partially so. Am willing to help out the cause. My seed will dance like no one is watching...let me know...seriuos, safe and sane here Let me know where to meet you (pic)

2. I've been told my sperm is equipped with ropes and grappelling hooks. If I donate a load to your science study can I at least look in the microscope to see if it's true.

3. Where in the cities are you? I'm very excited
about making a donation....Pics attached.

(I could only post one of the pictures he attached)

4. I've been told my sperm is equipped with ropes and grappelling hooks. If I donate a load to your science study can I at least look in the microscope to see if it's true.

5. 38 Male New Brighton. I won't send a pic but you won't be disappointed.

6. Hello, my name is %^(&#. As far as anything you would like to know just ask, I am open to anything.

7. I would be up for shooting load for you to look at. Your help would be preffered but not required. I would like to see what it looks like too if that would be ok.

8.  Will you be naked or will you be masturbating in order to speed up the process?

9. Why not, sounds kinda hot.  I'll stop by cum for you and take off no chit chat. Plus I'm not too bad
to look at either.  I'm 28 6'3" 200 lb

10.  Some things about me: 26 Years Old 5'11" with Average Athletic build Live in
Bloomington.  Attached a photo and do have more if you want!  If you have some, 
Great!  It'd be nice to see who is doing the studying!  Hope to hear back!



11.  i will do it if u  get naked. ++++ so i ge-t- -t-u-r-n- -o-n--a-n-d----------- some sma-ll talk2-------------
 --------- call me at 651-xxx-xxx

12. Sounds interesting and I cum a lot when and where?

13.  Is this for real???  If so...I'm kinda curious what it looks like too!!!  HAHA!! Lemme know if
  you're serious!


14.  I have to admit I am intrigued and honestly I am out here
   trying to get laid when you get right down to brass tacks.
   However I am also a bit of a science nerd and if I could
   look at some things through your scope.  I would be willing
   to help you out.  My own interests are outer space so I do
   love to gaze at things as well.

15. Hey there!  I am single, 27, blonde hair, blue eyes, 6-2 tall, and tone physique.   Cute.  Fun to
 be around....good sense of humor.  So I am very interested in helping you out with your viewing
 pleasure.   Drop me a line.  I'm in St. Louis Park, by the way.

16.  i would to be the one that does that. i'm open right now and i could come to you.  i hope you are
  real and i have pic


17.  Where are you located? I am willing to do this... you want to look for the swimmers??
   okay....


18.  This is kind of cool.  I would love to help! I am available right now!  No need for your help.  You
   can watch if you want. Ill leave right away. No expectations.  I'm 6'2", 35 and very good looking.
   Respectful, clean and well endowed! Wanna see.  Please reply! 

19. Any how here is a picture of me in my other happy place. I do work for myself in private practice so I am available on my own schedule.

20.  Give me a different E-mail address to send you a picture. Also, would you be willing to lend a
 "hand" for my "seed"?

21.  did u get a 100 guys already said that they will do it. if you still need someone let me know I
  could be at your place with in minutes.


22.  I would love to help you with your science project! call me i will
   be right over!  "Bob" XXX-XXX-XXXX

23. Your add cought my eye and I was wondering if you could tell if I am zero's out. I got fixed (ouch) about a year ago, but never went to the follow up.

Then later:
Are you still looking for someone to come over?

24. if you are for real i am so interested. i am a white male 55 and love to be watched as my sperm comes out of my penis and i love the thought of you looking at my sperm i a microscope i had a test done about ten or twelve years ago at which time they told me that i had plenty of sperm and could make lots of babies then, so i would be hopeful that you would be able to watch my sperm swim around on your slide then let me know what you think.

25. hello is this a serious add i am interested! I am a student at the UofM and could use a break tonight...please respond!!

26. i live in south mpls and i go to normandale college u can find on yahoo messageer my screen name is XXXXX write back if u want to that is me if u like the pic and we can get to know each other and we can hang out and do whatever u want to do

27. If I give you a sample, can you check for swimmers? Thanks!

28. you want my seed you can have it... contact me :-)

(Yes, I blurred out the dog's eyes, too)

29. Wanna see the semen from a guy that's had a vasectomy?

30. I attached two photos! Just out of curiosity why do you want a picture if your just gonna look at a sample? Im curious what the little fellows look like myself...lol

(I love that this guy- and others, were totally onto the game but still sent pictures of themselves to an ad for jiz on Craigslist!)

Then finally:
"Your posting has been flagged for removal.
Approximately 98% of postings removed are in violation of craigslist posting guidelines....."

And before anyone asks, no of COURSE no ads were responded to- although a couple of the fellows seemed to be kind of good natured. Just good to know there are so many people willing to help out a struggling student.

Nicknames

I would like to take this opportunity to address an issue that has been looming large in days of late. There are certain persons, who will remain nameless, who have recently insisted that they be referred to by alternate name of their choosing. I find this abrupt and unnecessary change whilst in mid-stream to be most unacceptable and frivolous. Granted, these requested name changes are slight in nature, they are, however, uncharacteristic of their identities as I have come to know them.

Imagine if Winston Churchill suddenly decided to change his name to "Winnie Churchill's" and refused to respond otherwise. The fate of the Western World- no, the entire world could have been compromised by this malicious request. Would it be morally responsible of Winston's progeny to do such a thing? No! of course not! So, why are those of us outside of major current or historical events any different?

What if the estates of past social and political icons legally changed the names of their forefathers? What then? We'd have great speeches by "Abe-meister Lincoln" and "Marti King?" Famous movie quotes from "Clarki Gable, Georgie C. Scott" and "Marly Brando." Who would we sing along to? "Johnny Lennon" and "Kurtie Cobain?"

I have respect for these individuals and do not want to call them something that I instinctively associate with someone less intelligent than I know them to be. Though this is a sad commentary on our society (and my preconceived notions as well which will perhaps be addressed in some appropriate sociological seminar), do we not simply add an "ie" or "y" to the end of their name when attempting to downgrade their efforts or belittle them? Of course we do, cause doing so makes their name sound silly. Why? Because typically, only small pets that hop for treats resembling bacon strips sport these kinds of names with any semblance of dignity.

Do we all not have a cultural responsibility to not only ourselves, but to those around us? Is it fair that we randomly add vowels to the ends of our perfectly suited names and insist that others use them at all times? People of the world, I implore you! So much suffering can be alleviated, if only we accept our names in-tact, as our parents had intended them (all "Ima Piggs" hold exception to this, for obvious reasons.

In closing I would also like to humbly request, that should anyone have any abstract names to which they would prefer to be referred by innocent bystanders (in a Napoleonic manner), that they please introduce themselves as such at each and every introduction. It is much less difficult to address someone with a silly name when you have never assigned any validity to their name to begin with.

Representing Fat People

If you're fat, please, PLEASE follow some basic rules to help maintain/improve our standings within the community. There are lots of stereotypes that we must work to overcome if we're ever going to be taken seriously. I mean, lots of alcoholics and porn addicts have respected positions, simply because their vices can be hidden.

1. When eating with a large group of people, never make a fuss about how you couldn't possibly finish something, or exclaim how you're just too full to finish your meal. You're fat. You didn't get that way by only eating half of your sub. All you're accomplishing is further isolation from the group, as they're surely stealing glances to one another in amusement.

2. At the grocery store stocking up on pasta, chips and candy, fill your cart with some healthy food, too. For every unhealthy thing you get, get something healthy. 1 carton of milk, get 1 carton of yogurt. For every frozen pizza, get 1 bag of frozen carrots. That way, when you're being checked out, the cashier won't scan crap after crap and know, instinctively without looking up that they're checking out a fatty. Instead, they'll think you have a family (of 6 or more, surely, due to the volume of your purchase) and are just doing your weekly (or monthly) shopping.

3. Wear clothes that fit and are size appropriate. A fat person wearing an "I heart Mayo" shirt is sad, not funny. Just like old people shouldn't wear short skirts, fat people shouldn't wear short anything or tight anything. I don't care if your best friend wears belly shirts, or athletic cut t-shirts; you can't.

4. Don't ever refer to yourself as "chubby." Chubby is a term used for children or pets. Don't fool yourself; adults are fat, overweight, heavy or obese.

5. When you must eat in front of others, maintain proper food etiquette. This means no eating with your mouth gaping, or knocking over glasses in haste, when reaching for extra butter. It is also imperative that you not spill food on yourself, nor finish before everyone else.

6. Don't be the person who always brings up food, or suggests eating. It's too easy to be labeled as a fatty if all that comes out of your mouth is food-food-food. This will keep your friends from seeing you as an eating buddy. Suggest activities that you think will spark an appetite amongst your friends, if you must, but don't be a spazzed out Cookie Monster.

7. Keep your car clean of food wrappers. Co-workers should not walk by your car and say to themselves, "Now that's Sarah's car, FOR SURE."

8. When sharing food with others, do not, under any circumstances be the one to start eating, or to finish it off. You aren't fat, you don't care that there's bacon to be shared- you're not even fat! Keep saying that to yourself.

9. Be aware of yourself while not being self-centered. Your life isn't about food, nor are your relationships. You are not people's "Fat Friend" and the minute someone makes you feel that way, say something to fix it, or get out of the relationship. We're all better than that.

Top Chef / Hell's Kitchen Lingo

I am so sick of watching these cooking shows and being lost on the same terms over and over again! I wish they had a scroll bar that went across the bottom of the screen like on reruns of LOST, to explain what's going on. It would be helpful to know, as sometimes what sucks about a dish is that it isn't even the dish they called it, but as a viewer, I have no idea! Some things are listed cause I know people who confuse the terms (I know what a scallop is, vs. a scallion).

Chef Rankings in the Kitchen:
The big dog whose vision the entire place is, is called the Chef de Cuisine (often called just, "The Chef)". He/She may/may not be present in the restaurant and may even have a fleet of establishments. Next in line is the executive chef. This seems to be a management position, dealing with all day to day tasks from the kitchen to the dining area. Finally, we have the "Sous Chef." From what I gather, it's a crummy, "show us what you got" sort of position. The Chef is seeing what you have, to decide if they can trust to/want to groom you.

Bisque/Boullion/Consommé:
A soup based on vegetables and/or crustaceans, finished with cream is a bisque. Boullion is French for broth and refers to a liquid you get from simmering meats, veggies and spices in water. Consomme, on the other hand, is a broth or stock that has been clarified (see clarified butter) by simmering it with beaten egg whites, which attract and trap the impurities clouding the broth

Braise vs Poach:
A cooking method that cooks something in a small amount of liquid (also called stewing or pot roasting). Braising concentrates food's flavors so it can be made into a sauce. In poaching, the food is completely submerged in simmering liquid.

Ceviche:
Is a dish that uses citrus marinated seafood. When shellfish is used, it's usually cooked ahead of time, while finfish is usually raw. A misconception about ceviche is that the acid from the citrus cooks the fish, somehow. Nope, cooking requires heat. What the acids do, is denature the proteins, so the fish will look as if it had been cooked, but it has not. Bacteria won't be killed, so it is to be considered a 'raw' dish.

Clarified butter:
Is butter without the water and and milk solids. Without these, you can use butter to saute at really high temperatures without burning. This lightened butter is also called "ghee." It's also used as a fire accelerator.

Compote:
Is a dish that uses fruits cooked in a syrup and spices or liqueur.

Emulsion:
A smooth mixture of two liquids, such as oil and water that normally do not mix.

Mis en Place:
Mmeans "everything in its place." If you're in charge of this, you need to get all ducks in a row for the chef for a service. That means all pots & pans and foods (fully prepped) are ready to be used by the chef.

Miso:
"A thick paste made from fermented and processed soy beans. Red miso is a combination of barley and soy beans and yellow miso is a combination of rice and soy beans." Yeah, that definition didn't help me, either.

Roulade:
A slice of meat or fish rolled around a stuffing. So, I guess at the state fair, I didn't get a pickle wrapped in cream cheese and pastrami, I got a "pastrami-pickle roulade."

Roux:
A mixture of flour and butter used to thicken sauces, soups, and gravies.

Scallions:

Immature onions (also called green onions) with a mild flavor. Both the white bulb and the green tops can be used in cooking.

Shallot:

An onion, too, but it looks like a big clove of garlic. They are used to infuse savory dishes with a mild, delicate onion flavor.

Scallops:

Not an onion, a mollusk.

Sabayon:
A light, frothy mixture made by beating egg yolks with water or other liquid over gentle heat. Sabayons may be sweet or savory and may be served as a sauce, often flavoured with an alcohol, or they may form the base of some mousse mixtures. They may also be used for sweet or savoury gratins.

Tempura:
A Japanese method of cooking vegetables and shellfish. They are coated with a light cornstarch batter and deep-fried.

Fat Kid Party 2009.2

FKP 2009.2 was a success, I think, as it marked a noted shift in the competitive level of the participants. There were many stellar entries that were truly within the realm of what a fat kid would make if left alone with a full kitchen and a little creativity.

Having said that, there was a disturbing event that must be discussed. Someone stole a pack of hot dogs from the fridge and a corresponding pack of buns from the counter. Who goes to a party and steals unopened food, let alone food of such a mundane nature? Curiosity clashing with host offense, I have compiled a list of suspects. These suspects were corralled based on several varying criteria. They pictured below and described from left to right.

Jena (top left) arrived late and cleverly caused a distraction by claiming to anyone who would listen, that her fryer was missing the cord. To add to the suspicion, she refused to open it, saying it was full of oil. Was it really full of oil or was it full of hot dogs and buns? Amidst a hasty escape, she left her frying supplies (which included Mars chocolate bars and pickles), so if she did make a sacrifice for the hot dogs/buns, I clearly won out.

Stephannie is a new mother, and may be unaware of the dietary requirements of infants. She may have seen the supplies as a quick and easy way of providing protein for her child. Hot dogs for her, and hot dog broth for the baby's bottle. She also had a large purse which she never put down.

Leshonn's crew. I say "crew" because two members were black and I'm making an subtle editorial distinction meant to convey ethnicity, which to racist people will imply guilt. Also, I lump all four individuals into one "suspect" as they all look the same to me. Now, to be fair, the only real fuel for suspicion for this group is that they very abruptly left after only a few minutes. To add mystery, they brought a chocolate cake (made from scratch, mind you) made up to look like an egg with bacon all over it. I can't imagine their master plan was to slave over this dessert/breakfast confection/atrocity only to steal some crappy hot dogs and buns. Still, there were two girls with purses, and the guys shirts were baggy enough to easily conceal the items with a minimum amount of discussion.

Buffy. Although one would think she'd not be able to get her hands on these items, she is much more clever than one would imagine (especially when surrounded by drunks).

If you have any information surrounding the whereabouts of these hot dogs, please let me know.

Trick-oh-till-o-mania

Trichotillomania is an "impulse control disorder" that results in people having the uncontrollable (debatable term, I know) urge to pull hair from various places on their bodies. In the most severe cases people have bald spots or entire bald heads. A large number of people, though, have the urge to pull hair from only specific places on their bodies.

I was 16 and bored when I first started pulling out my eyebrows and eyelashes. It started simply enough and quickly escalated (that day) to having nearly no eyebrows and no eyelashes at all on my upper eyelids. Over the years it has progressively gotten worse, despite my constant counter impulses to "stop doing that."

In July of 2009 I read about N-Acetyl Cysteine, which is just an amino acid supplement (not a prescription drug), being found in some study to have relieved these impulses in 50% of the participants. I read about this while in a grueling calculus summer session, during which my picking had progressed to cutting off the ends of my hair (inches at a time). After 5 weeks of the 8 week course I had cut off about 5 inches of hair all around my head. I did not want this to progress as it did in people I had seen on TV- I wouldn't look right with a wig, and I'm aware how these things have a way of creeping to scary levels (scarier than the below eyebrowless picture):

July 26, 2009:

Started taking 600 mg of NAC. Within a week I noticed a difference, though was very aware of a placebo effect (is a placebo effect counteracted by being aware of it?). After calculus ended the picking dropped off dramatically.

We'll see how things go in a few more months. Maybe by October I'll be able to convey eyebrow conveyed emotions.